Is that...? What is it exactly that I am feeling right now?

It feels a tetch like irritation. There is definitely an undercurrent of something like restlessness. However, I have a strong sense that I should be doing something different. Oooh, and I cannot forget that feeling of indecision.

Hmmm...let's backtrack. Teacher workday at school today, so I spent most of the day getting my room and lesson plan book ready for the new grading period next Monday. I typed up several worksheets and sent them to the copy room. I threw out all my old, last trimester copies. I created and printed new seating charts. I came home at 2:20 this afternoon...then I took my two oldest children grocery shopping before picking up the youngest at daycare right around 3:45. Brent left the house around 4:30 to go see a show at a casino. The kids and I ate a light dinner around 5:30. We then puttered for another hour, me doing laundry and other onerous house chores. About 6:45, we watched a movie together. About 9:20, the four of us went out for a drive and stopped at McDonald's for a snack. All three kids conked out on the drive back home. The kids have now been asleep for about an hour. Husband has not arrived home yet. Hmmmm...

There's no schoolwork I can do. All laundry is caught up. All rooms have been vacuumed. Fridge and pantry is full. There's nothing on TV that I have a mad desire to watch. I don't feel much like surfing the Net, reading a book, playing a video/computer game, going to bed...

Wait. I know what it is. I'm bored.

WTF?????? It's been a long time since I've felt that emotion.

Yeah, it's hit again. I'm up at 1:45, unable to sleep. It's expected at this time of the year.

We just finished our first trimester at school yesterday, so that means today (by that, I mean later this morning) is a teacher workday. It's a chance for teachers to not only get their grades submitted, but a chance to prepare for the new trimester.

Many of my fellow colleagues will spend the workday still grading assignments, some will spend it walking around, talking to others, because their grades were done last Friday, some will post grades early on in the morning and then have the rest of the day to clean their rooms, make copies, etc.

And some might even be in the same boat as I. Posted their grades last night, and have so much to do for the new trimester that their brains couldn't handle the stress overload and is spilling over into their precious sleep time and now they're awake at two o clock in the morning because their subconscious decided to start thinking about lesson plans.

I probably don't even sound coherent and I can barely focus on the computer screen...but dammit it all, my mind is not tired.

So, what do I do now? I feel like I should be making the most of it and do some schoolwork (although what schoolwork I'd do exactly is unclear). I could play a computer game...that might be help sleepiness to come back. I could do some more typing on a story I've been working on lately. I could browse the Internet for interesting stuff.

Oop...actually I'm going to go use the toilet. I doubt it will put me back to bed, though.

And, I'm going to leave this post as is, unchanged and unproofed, so you can all read for yourselves what a rambling, work-obsessed, sleep-deprived fool sounds like at two in the morning.

I first became familiar with this silver-maned crooner in the early to mid 80's. See, my parents were (are) country music fans...and I'm talking Country-Western. I'm talking Loretta Lynn, Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, Dolly Parton, etc., etc. I'm now talking about the crap now about sexy tractors (WTF is that about?).

Anyway, I've tried to deny my heritage. For the longest time, I've tried to cover up my CW past by listening to the likes of Tori Amos, NKOTB, and Paula Abdul.

Well, it's all caught up with me. It first started about four weeks ago when I got the Netflix itch to watch "Coward of the County" based on Rogers' song, because I remembered that flick when I was a kid. Well, from there, it's blossomed into a full-fledged rediscovery. And not only that, but Brent got caught in the Kenny undertow, too.

In fact, he just purchased the CD "21 Number Ones: Kenny Rogers' Greatest Hits". And the songs are awesome...I mean, we've got:

- Lady
- Lucille
- The Gambler
- Islands in the Stream
- She Believes in Me

and on and on and on. The only bummer: No "Reuben James".

And so now, I was just browsing through iTunes and came across this gem: "70's Country". OMG!!

We're talking:

- Rhinestone Cowboy
- Convoy
- Take this Job and Shove It
- Rose Garden
- Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
- Coal Miner's Daughter
- If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?

AND MORE!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just can't believe I may possibly be reverting to music from my childhood. Next thing I know, I'll be watching reruns of "The Waltons".

G'night, John Boy!

*sigh*

My mom and I (avec two of the three kids) were having lunch at Wendy's this morning. I was having the small chili and side salad. It was good.

This elderly lady, her husband, and I guess, a sister or friend, sat in the booth behind us...I saw her glance over at us once. My initial thought was, "Oh great, another old person who wishes they could enjoy their lunch in peace without the commotion of small children." She said nothing, so I kept on eating. Her husband then goes the counter to order and that's when she turns around and says, "I'm so sorry to interrupt you..."

"...but is your last name S*****?"

I said that it was and she then tells me that she was my kindergarten teacher. Of course, the moment she says it, I recognize her. She's definitely older, but I recognize her. She then comments that I probably don't remember her name, and I said, "Yes, you were Miss Castel when I had you, then you became Mrs. Bollinger." She then goes on to tell me that she thinks of me often and has brought up my name in many conversations.

You see, I was basically a child prodigy.

I went off to kindy in the fall of 1980, knowing how to read and read well. My mom told me it was because I watched so many episodes of the game show 'Password'.

Mrs. B says right there during lunch that she never had to teach me to read, because I already knew it. She also comments that she's brought me up in her conversations with others, especially when they rave about a youngster who was an early reader. She's able to counter with "Yes, well, I once had a kindergartener come to my class able to read!" She also asks my daughter if she's "just like her Mom, able to read in kindergarten."

So, we chitchat for a few more minutes...and she looks delighted when I tell her I'm now an English teacher.

All in all, about a five minute exchange. But it really made my day...maybe even my year. Usually, it's the students who are touched by the teachers...how wonderful to be the student who has touched a teacher.

Fall is, I mean. Pretty much. Winter sits on the doorstep.

Would you believe that I almost welcome it? Winter, I mean.

Normally, I usually am somewhat indifferent when it comes to the change in seasons. I don my winter coat, rummage around for boots, gloves, etc, and wrap the scarf around my neck. Life goes on, as it has the last 32 years. It's just winter, in Iowa.

This year, though, I've shrugged on my new winter coat (Lands End! Faux shearling! I know!) pulled on my cheap $1 knit gloves, and tucked my scarf in willingly, almost cheerily.

Perhaps this "new me" goes along with the brimming "holiday anticipation" I mentioned last post. Of course, colder weather means Christmas is coming, chestnuts are roasting, gifts are being given. And that's all well and good...but there's the spirituality of winter too.

Everything's going to go dormant for a few months. Mother Earth gets a chance to rest from her labors of providing for the world. She takes a break to recoup for the coming spring.

Humans should take note...a time for rest, reflection, and recharge.