All I can say is, I've now become my parents. My kids have become me.

My eaigh-year-old son excitedly woke up at 6:00 am this morning to see what Santa brought him. We were still asleep at 6:00 am. I've now groggily rolled out of bed, made a pot of coffee, and will now be blearily watch a bit of TV while we wait for the other kids and their dad to stumble into the room. Grandma and Poppy are coming over in an hour to have breakfast and open presents.

The student has become the master.

Merry Christmas.

A work colleague got me wise to this little gem of a website recently, and I've been having a little fun with it.

Nothing like superimposed heads on cartoon elf bodies, dancing to a jangly version of "Jingle Bells" to get you in the holiday spirit.

Nelson ElfMania

So, the hubbub these days in the professional sports world is the Mitchell report. About two years ago, the Major League Baseball Commish hired this guy, George Mitchell, to investigate steroid use in baseball. This, of course, was in the wake of the Barry Bonds allegations...so you know, the Commish figures he's got to restore some integrity to the juggernaut that is known as America's Pastime.

Fast-forward 20 months. Mitchell released his findings this week, and the athletic community has been catapulted into chaos. The guy NAMED ACTUAL NAMES. Big names. Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, and more. The amazing thing is that Senator Mitchell was able to gather all these facts despite the reluctance of many, many athletes to talk to him.

So, now the question is what is the Commish going to do? Is he going to slap these guys on the wrist or is he seriously going to punish them?

Frankly, I think the guy is screwed either way. And he will probably do nothing.

One, even though the public has screamed for this kind of investigative report, there will be no follow-through at all. Why? The public cannot handle the solution, because they created the monster. They've paid all these guys this money, built all these stadiums to showcase their talent, kept track of their homerun hits, bought all their merchandise, and applied pressure to produce a World Series team. Is it any wonder the athletes are taking drugs to make themselves stronger, faster, and healthier? They're trying to keep up with their fans' insane, superheroic demands! If these athletes were making $40,000 (which is what I make for teaching America's youth), I guarantee this steroid problem wouldn't exist. Society put these athletes on a freakin' pedestal and then cry foul when the athletes can't meet the unrealistic expectations society has set for them. And, really, the public is not willing to give up America's Pastime to teach these performance-enhancing junkies a lesson.

Second, it's pointless to punish the athletes. It won't touch them...they have their ill-begotten millions to fall back on. The only message they'll get now is "Don't get caught next time." We have to solve the above problem before we talk punitive issues.

And I really don't see that happening. It'd be like asking Americans who gripe about high gas prices to stop driving their SUVs and walk to work instead. It's just not going to happen.

BTW, I have thoughts in a similar vein relating to Hollywood. I may have to share at a later date.

OK, people, forget the Christmas presents, the shopping, the cookies, the ornaments, the gift cards, the fruitcake, and the grouchy children and in-laws.

Christmas is about none of these things. It's about snow days.

It's time for the seasonal equivalent of Russian Roulette.

Those of you who grew up in the public school system will recall dusty memories of waking up, and groggily looking out the window at a fresh blanket of snow. As you rubbed the sleep goobers out of your eyes, you groaned with an inward sense of dread that it was going to be hell trying to drive to school with this on the roads...or hell riding the bus, if that was the case. Suddenly, that slow tingly delicious sense of realization crept over your entire body...school might be cancelled! You rushed to the TV or radio and found the local station. The newscaster would slowly roll through the cancellations and postponements...usually in alphabetical order. To this day, you never knew how you managed to keep from ripping the knobs off the appliances as the reporter droned on...and wondering all the while, who really did give a crap about the cancelled spaghetti supper at the First United Methodist Church of Christ??

Your happiness rested on one monumental decision. Would the superintendent have mercy? You knew in the blink of an eye your day could be absolutely ruined. Nerves jangled as you awaited that announcement. And finally, that moment of bliss...of utter contentment..of sheer, unadulterated joy. School was canceled. A whole day off! Nothing to do but whatever your little heart desired. Glorious!

So, I'm still in public education. And this whole emotional roller coaster of school cancellations is still there. And it's about ten times better. I freaking love it.

Money. Cash. Or at least, Pink Floyd said so.

Today, I feel like discussing Money and...Religion.

Hmmmm...

I was sitting in church about three weeks ago, and the sermon was titled "Tithing or Not?" When I saw that in our bulletin, my interest was piqued. See, I had just recently begun attending church regularly (like within the last year), because it had taken me forever (seems like) to get over my church phobia. For whatever reason that I could never quite place, my distaste for organized religion had spread to various other areas of my life. In my late teens and early 20's, I didn't give God much of a thought...I was too busy trying to just live my life. So I went on happily living my atheist lifestyle, until I realized that I could be spiritual without being religious. A major breakthrough, let me tell you.

So, anyway, after some meandering here and there, we've become members of a Quaker church here in town. Everyone's very welcoming and there is a definite "church family" feel. Imagine my trepidation then, upon learning that week's sermon about tithing. Would this be one of those hypocritical sermons that would leave a bad taste in my mouth and turn me away from the church again?

Well, yes and no. I understand that the church is somewhat of a business. They have bills to pay, causes to support etc, and the main source of income is what the parishioners provide. And yet, it is this dependence on money that I find so damn irritating. Petty squabbles arise because a committee wants to cover pews, replace windows, or send a youth group on missionary trip...and what do we need? Money. All this reliance on money.

Reminds me of another wonderful thing about being Pagan. No church, no ties to money. I can easily step outside and bask in the light of a full moon...and there's my church. Walk out in the rain, crunch through fall leaves, get a sunburn at the pool - that's my church. And I don't have to pay for it.