The older I get, the more cantankerous I get.

So, goodbye shopping malls, supercenters, and department stores!

Hello shopping sites dot com!

Just after Thanksgiving we placed our first online order, followed by more in the last few days. The first box arrived yesterday, and more are expected. UPS and FedEx are battling it out over who can get to my door first.

The only non-fun part of all this? None of the stuff I've ordered is for me. WTF is up with that?

Huh.

Brent and I watched "Sirens" last night. It was OK, but I thought the most interesting theme of the whole movie was the idea of repressed sexuality.

Hmmmm...gee...not a problem in our society.

Anyway, Hugh Grant played this preacher/pastor who was sent by the Church of England to talk to an artist whose paintings are filled with nude models and unarguably erotic undercurrents. Naturally, the Church is very worried...now that these paintings are on display in the local museum. Grant did a great job of playing the righteous religious fanatic who underestimates people's brain capacity ("You can't show them the pictures...the damage will already be done."). Grant is married to a woman who, you can just tell, is DYING for a little sensuality in her marriage. Cripes, Grant's character uses the "Do you want to?" line with her in one of the bedroom scenes.

So, the both of them come out to the artist's house, where Grant spends his time trying to convince the artist to remove one of the more offensive paintings, and the wife tries to keep herself from falling apart at the sexual seams. It doesn't help that the artist has three models living with he and his family...and that the models are nude much of the time...and that they are fairly uninhibited.

Grant's wife is the interesting character...much of her internal struggle occurs between her carnal desires and her "awakening" and her loyalty to her husband, who tempers all these things. However, there are glimpses of Hugh Grant's character's sexual desires peeping out during the movie. Obviously, he is not immune to the Sirens' charms either.

Sooooooooo...

Not that my husband is an official for the Church of England, but he is a bit on the sexually repressed side. He's too shy, or too scared, or has too many hangups. Whatever the case, he's the Hugh Grant character who cannot seem to come to terms with his sexuality. I, naturally, play the wife who is torn between loyalty to her husband and a desire for sexual freedom. You know, the age-old story.

So, anyway, my lengthy monologue aside, I'd recommend the movie. There's obviously some deeper issues that could provoke good conversation. There's also just lots of boobs too, if you're not looking for profound revelations about our society.

I've wanted to use this word in a message title for awhile now, I've haven't really had anything happen that would fit the definition. I could try to make something work, but in the end, I'd sound like an idiot.

I mean, more than usual, that is.

But finally. I can. Use it, I mean.

This last weekend, the whole fam trekked to Des Moines to do what I call "Christmas looking". You know, compile ideas for the grandparents, ogle the latest toys, clothes, and other materialistic items, and in general, participate in all that goodwill-towards-men-and-peace-on-Earth crap.

To preface this story, let me provide you with a bit of a weird flashback. In college, I got to be friends with this guy (in between boyfriends), who was about three or four years older than I. We both worked in the cafeteria. Anyway, he graduated, entered the real world, and I lost touch with him.

But then...contact begins with him again many years later...although I do not remember how, when, where, or why. Periodically, I receive emails from him, and you know, OK. He's married, kid, etc. I wouldn't say we've even really got a correspondence, because he sends the mass emails and I never really respond back.

OK, back to present. I'm in DM and the thought "How crazy would it be if I saw J up here?" pops into my brain. He lives relatively close to the DM area, but c'mon, seriously...out of all the shopping areas in DM??? The odds would be astronomical. I'd have a better chance at getting down to a size four.

Anyway, after hitting ToysRUs, a teacher store in Urbandale, and lunch at some microbrewery place (with three kids, no doubt), we make our last stop at Target. As Brent's in the truck changing Elliot's poopy pants, Kirby and I walk into the store, and who do I see coming in behind me?

Yep. J. I freak out.

I recognize him instantly, even though it's been a few years. However, he appears not to recognize me...so like a stalker, I sneak several sidelong glances to make sure it is him and quickly decide not to say anything. I mean, really, what would I say to the guy?

So I go about my merry way, spending a few minutes in the purse section trying to get my wits about me. But, because this store is NOT a SuperTarget...the odds that I'll bump into him again are considerably reduced. Sure enough, there he is in the toy section with his family, and at this point, I don't care if I sound like a weird stalker, because I am GOING TO SAY SOMETHING!

As far as I'm concerned, my end of the conversation after that was lame. Maybe it was an awkward moment, who knows, but it was all small talk (ie "Gawd, don't you just hate the insane crowds at this time of year?" Blaargh). I didn't ask any of the important questions like "What are you doing now?" or "Are you still a StarWars freak?"

Damn. I've come so far, but yet...not. Still, it was serendipitous. It was a serendipitous moment. Full of serendipity. Mmm-hmm.

OK - the first day of a new grading period started today. You know what that means for me? Nothing to grade! No homework!

I don't even really have lesson plans I could be doing, because I'm set up through next Thursday! No homework!

Two more days of school and then Thanksgiving Break - I get two days off!

It's almost December!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you enjoying my exuberant use of exclamation points?!

EDITED FOR STUPIDITY!

Is that...? What is it exactly that I am feeling right now?

It feels a tetch like irritation. There is definitely an undercurrent of something like restlessness. However, I have a strong sense that I should be doing something different. Oooh, and I cannot forget that feeling of indecision.

Hmmm...let's backtrack. Teacher workday at school today, so I spent most of the day getting my room and lesson plan book ready for the new grading period next Monday. I typed up several worksheets and sent them to the copy room. I threw out all my old, last trimester copies. I created and printed new seating charts. I came home at 2:20 this afternoon...then I took my two oldest children grocery shopping before picking up the youngest at daycare right around 3:45. Brent left the house around 4:30 to go see a show at a casino. The kids and I ate a light dinner around 5:30. We then puttered for another hour, me doing laundry and other onerous house chores. About 6:45, we watched a movie together. About 9:20, the four of us went out for a drive and stopped at McDonald's for a snack. All three kids conked out on the drive back home. The kids have now been asleep for about an hour. Husband has not arrived home yet. Hmmmm...

There's no schoolwork I can do. All laundry is caught up. All rooms have been vacuumed. Fridge and pantry is full. There's nothing on TV that I have a mad desire to watch. I don't feel much like surfing the Net, reading a book, playing a video/computer game, going to bed...

Wait. I know what it is. I'm bored.

WTF?????? It's been a long time since I've felt that emotion.