School starts in two days, although I report back for work in about, oh, aboout five hours.

This happens every damn year. Outwardly, I am calm, poised, and perfectly ready for school begin. Inwardly, my subconscious is screaming, "You're freaking nervous! What if your fly's down on the first day? What if this is the year there's a problem you can't handle and you go completely crazy?"

And so, that is why I'm up at two-stinking-thirty, unable to sleep. My inner psyche's subconscious fears are seeping into my sleep pattern. My restful night is being punctured by fragmented dreams of my daughter either a.) not being able to find her school supplies and b.) carrying around dozens of plastic Walmart bags of school supplies.

Wonder if I could get a Valium prescription somewhere in the next fifteen minutes. Hmmmmm...

Here's a thought-provoking topic that came up while my mom and I were having breakfast out this morning.

I was telling her about our new financial plan (cf. Wednesday's post). She, of course, wished us luck. Our conversation naturally turned to the downward spiral that is known as 'shopping.' Why is it, I pondered, that I shop for things ten times as much as my husband? Brent will shop, but it's for things that are necessary, like cat litter or a cable router. Whereas I need little provocation to shop for something inconsequential, say, another pair of black shoes or a purse specifically for carrying in the summer.

This explains why my husband's shoes are in tatters and his underwear is threadbare.

But, I discovered, I'm not the only one! Egad! My mother and father are the same way. My mom will go to Walmart and pick up the most trivial things you've ever seen, the latest being an electronic hair tweezer. Dad, though, buys the batteries and golf balls (believe me, for him, they're like bread and water).

I firmly believe this is a worldwide trend. Look at Posh Spice Beckham, for cripes' sake. Why do women buy more stuff, that, when it really gets right down to it, they don't need at all, but think they do?

I will now present you with the three theories I learned today, and then you may make your own judgments.

#1 Mom: We buy things because our husbands don't buy them for us. (Unfair and bitchy perhaps, but maybe not totally untrue.)

#2 Brent: It's tradition for women to take care of things in the house, so they make more purchases. (Logic does not even seem coherent as fourth pair of black shoes helps do nothing around the house except look pretty.)

#3 Me: Not that most of us may know or realize it, but I think shopping fills a need we're missing somewhere else in our lives. When I'm on a diet and I lose enough pounds to go the next size down, how do I celebrate? By going shopping! In my mind, I haven't gotten enough pats on the back from my husband, coworkers, etc. for the lost weight, so I must do it myself. Somehow we feel that inanimate object will appreciate us and tell us how wonderful we are - because we don't hear it enough from people who care...or so we think.

I know what you're thinking - you narcissistic, neurotic FREAK. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if I were a little of both, but I think mostly that I've just set the expectation bar too high.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? Why women buy so much?

Here it is, that poignant time of the year when I ponder a bit on the nature of life.

Mid-August.

I have actually started back to school, but the kids' first day is not until Wednesday. However, I've been into my classroom off and on all summer, but I didn't go full-fledged School-Mode-Mindset until earlier this month.

In the middle of the teacher meetings, lesson planning, and writing new course expectations, I must stop a moment to think about things.

It's another year. I'm ready and I'm excited. Pretty soon the year will be underway, and I'll feel like I'm deep sea diving, only coming up for air sometime in early June. But, for now, I'm being thrown back in that wild world of Homecomings, Prom, homerooms, and graduation...and I truly love being a part of that life.

But...another summer is gone. Was it the best I could make it for myself? For my kids? After all, their second, seventh, and ninth summers are over, and they are never going to get them back. Did we make good memories?

I think thoughts like these can drive a person mad. Really. I suppose I could regret not doing certain things with or for my kids. Although, that violates my policy of trying not to regret things I've done. Focus on the now and make good decisions today.

Yes. Corking good plan. Speaking of plans btw, our new financial experiment goes into effect tomorrow (cf. last post).

Let us veer away from the recently negative, sad, and infuriating chain of events and turn to a decent bit of communication that happened between my husband and I in the last few days.

This conversation occurred as we were driving home from Minnesota this last Monday. It was about finances. Brent still makes a corporate salary, I have my Masters and make a respectable salary (for a teacher), and we live in SE Iowa, where the cost of living is much lower. Needless to say, we live very comfortably, and are able to enjoy just about anything we like...which leads to a smidgen of reckless spending. We're not thousands in debt or anything like that, but we make several trips to Walmart during the week or we make frequent ATM cash withdrawals. Now, I haven't had to hock my wedding ring, but it's a concern.

So, we came up with a plan on Monday's drive. We had nothing else to do anyway!

The Nelsons' Solid Financial Plan

1. An ATM cash withdrawal of $100 will be made once a week. H gets $40, B gets $40, and $20 goes to the "money drawer."

2. All purchases are made in cash; the only exceptions are groceries, gas, and bills - these will be put on credit card (all others are cash).

3. Credit card usage should be limited as much as possible to the weekends.

4. Nelson family is allowed one credit-card-restaurant trip per week. Any other dining out is paid in cash.

5. Money is not taken from "money drawer" unless the other person is consulted.

6. Money from "money drawer" is used only when $40 allowance is gone, and then only for necessary household purchases.

7. Online purchases must come from weekly allowances, which is then put into a separate "Online Purchase" envelope. This money is then recycled into next week's allowance (under $100) or deposited in bank (over $100).

That's it. We've done detailed budgets before and it became a bookkeeping nightmare. This way, we only have a certain amount of money, but how we spend it is irrelevant. It hopefully will also make us think about our purchases and think ahead to things we REALLY want or need.

I'll let you know how it goes. We're starting next week when school starts. Woooooooo...

Remember those books growing up? "Balloon to the Sahara?" "Third Star from Aldebaran?" You know, you decide what happens...and then you usually die.

I've got one for you all.

You post to freecycle.org that you have two female guinea pigs to give away for free. Same day, one of the guinea pigs die. You make this discovery just moments after someone has emailed you, asking if they are still available.

If you totally renege on your freecycle offer, turn to page two.
If you respond to the interested party and let them know the latest development, turn to page five.

Heh. Yeah. Real life. Funnier than fiction.