Wide awake here at 2:45 a.m.

Dammit. This is not right. I have to work tomorrow.

I think it's one of those cases where my subconscious sleeping mind started going haywire on me and began listing all the tasks I need to get done in the next week. See, end of the trimester is Thursday, so naturally, my regular life sort of gets put on hold so I can prepare final grades.

The ol' brain finally exploded about 2:35 a.m., waking me up, wondering WTF? Sooo, I got up and made myself a little handwritten list of all my "things to do," hoping to excise those demons. Then I checked my fantasy football score (I am losing to my husband because Tom Brady sucked big last night).

And now, I am here...posting about my insomnia. Seems a bit surreal, actually.

Ooh, the family and I had a lovely little Full Moon ritual last night. Even though my husband is not Pagan, he still participated, and it was just time well-spent with the family. And the weather was decent for November. I'd describe it more, but I'm sure it would put you all to sleep...the one thing I seem to cannot do right now.

Ah, well...good night. I feel a yawn coming on.

This is the first weekend in a long time that I haven't had anything really important/pressing to do or see or be. What does one do with all the free time? Heh. Heh. A Big Fat Nothing for $1000, Alex.

Last night, I went to see the high school's production of "Midsummer Night's Dream," which is a wonderful play. It was OK. I'm not trying to sound elitist here, but I understand Shakespeare, therefore, it is pretty enjoyable for me. However, I live in rural Iowa...nearest cultural experience is roughly an hour away. Not many folks around here are clamoring for Shakespeare. Although, they should be!

Today was a complete lazy day. Brent went to some Quaker Men's thing this morning. About 10:30, he and Spencer left for the Iowa State football game (we freaking lost), while Kirby and Elliot and I went out, did groceries, and had lunch together. A rather nice time. I have been grading papers this afternoon (end of trimester: five days)...while Kirby's been watching "Annie." Elliot has been napping for about the last hour. I reckon Brent will be home soon and then we'll have supper. And then I have this fabulous idea...

And it's called Candy Store!

It's my dead brilliant idea for all the leftover Halloween candy that sits atop my fridge. The kids and I went to the dollar store today and bought all kinds of non-edible goodies (puzzles, books, toys, etc.). Then we set up a "store" where the kiddos can purchase items for a certain number of candy pieces. Surely you are seeing the sheer ingeniousness of it!

"Hey, Spencer, you want that coloring book? It'll cost you 10 pieces of candy."

Then...I take all the candy they've "spent" to work, where it is devoured in roughly 2.8 hours by the faculty. No rotten teeth here! Only good times with educational books, puzzles, and toys!

On a terribly unrelated note, I tried to watch "Nacho Libre" today. I shut it off about halfway through. I normally love Jack Black...but I cannot stomach this one.

Alright, I'm off. Little Miss YappyPants is here asking me "Can you go to pbskids.org, Mommy?" Yappppppppppppppppy!

What I need...should I ever want to wear my new Regency dress in public is the proper undergarments.

Starting with a period-appropriate corset. Currently, my searches are to no avail. As you can imagine, when I type 'corset' into Google, I get all kinds of websites. But I'm not interested in PVC or vinyl at this time!

Then I'll find that one needle in a haystack...the one that says "Regency Corset," and it turns out to be someone's project that they are working on for fun. Great for them, but I am a consumer here. I am looking to buy!

So, anyway, I'll keep searching...but if any of you happen to come across something, let me know, will ya?

Thanks to Enya's "May It Be." It was playing on my iTunes while I was grading papers, and so in the middle of reading a compare/contrast essay about basketball and wrestling, I begin thinking about this song.

When I hear this song, I am always transported to the Lord of the Rings movies. And for me, that is just a lovely place to be.

So I was curious, and looked up the lyrics for this song. Here's what I got...

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

These lyrics almost make me cry and I don't know why. (Poet at work)
I love the line "Believe and you will find your way." But, believe in what? Believe in yourself? Believe in the Divine? For me - both. Myself, because that is one thing I truly have control over and the Divine, because everything they do/are in this world has a reason. If I allow myself to be tuned into what the universe tells me - I will find my way. This comes home for me after contemplating the changes that have come about in my relationship with my husband. I don't think it's some random chance that led me here to Blogstream, to the people I have met here, to my decision to follow the advice of those same people...currently bringing me to the level of peace and contentment I am beginning to feel. I am believing and I am finding my way.

Another line I love is the very last one. "A promise lives within you now." What does that mean? Of course, there is no absolute answer. It's different for everyone. As long as we are alive, we are something. We are capable of something. To me, that is very comforting. What is my promise? To write the next Great American Novel? To have another child? To teach forever? Who knows? But, I love knowing it's there. It's there if I believe.

It just reminds me that none of us are alone. Even if we are "alone", we aren't. Not really.

It makes me want to stick around this planet and find out what the universe tells me next. How will it send me its next message? Through another Enya song? Hmmmm...

So, this morning, I was able to fit into and button of pair of Old Navy cargo pants that I hadn't been able to squeeze into for about...oh, the last five months.

YAY!

Nothing big, but made my day.